The Real You

I just want to share with you an excerpt from a humorous speech I made in Toastmasters meeting which bears with it, a valuable lesson. A real life experience made humorous. Read on.

(First line sung to the tune of Staying Alive by The Bee gees)

“Well you can tell by the way I do my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk. Hahahaha staying alive, staying alive.” That’s how I felt whenever I get a woman’s number after meeting her for the first time and striking a conversation for a few minutes, sometimes even seconds from meeting her just like the classic scene in the movie, Staying Alive, where Tony Manero, the lead character was feeling the vibe. Yes, that’s how fast it is when I feel the vibe. It’s a combination of pleading and harassment. Give her no time to process her thinking, and she’ll give you her number. And who knows, she might even go out with you for a date. That is an offshoot of the “budol-budol” gang’s version of sweeping a woman off her feet. And that is my version of filling a void within.

I learned the art of picking-up women in 2008. Barely two years after me and my ex-wife got separated. It was awkward at first, imagine, going up to a complete stranger and asking for her number and all I got going for me was my good looks! That is according to my mother, she says she’s always right. And what could be more frightening to a guy who’s in his late 30’s than approaching a chic half his age? But that was how I thought I could get women and that was how I thought I could put myself back again.

Learning to pick-up women was not easy and fun at the beginning. In fact, there are many highs and lows in your emotions, just like, tall and short. At one time, I went up to a group of girls, and before I even say a word, they were amazed. They freaked-out. The funny thing is the one who reacted most was the ugliest among their group of five. It was a reaction where the other four including the most attractive in their group got carried away. I got confused. Sometimes, you just want to head-butt that alpha-girl in the group and say “I’m not Jack the Ripper.” But logic has little to do with emotions. So I simply walk away with a hunch back and cursing all women.

Later that day, I met a pretty mestiza outside the mall and we had a short conversation. While the conversation was still at a high point, I told her I’m about to leave, then she asked me where I’m going? I told her I’m going to the bank and withdraw five hundred thousand, but the bank may be closed already so I have to hurry-up. Suddenly, I saw glitter in her eyes, it began to sparkle. I feel like gold. She said, “you’re very liquid, you must have got many liquid assets.” I told her “wait till you see my fixed asset. This is the source why I’m very liquid.”  All of a sudden, that hunched back was replaced by chest-out again, as I could hear the music play in the background sung by Britney Spears entitled, “womanizer”, which sounded more like accusing than a song.

It was exhausting after quite some time doing the same thing over and over again because I have to pretend and lie.., and lie some more, before we can lie together. I based my confidence on getting the approval of women, and when I don’t get it, my self-esteem goes down, my self-confidence too. Everything goes down except that one. In fact, it goes up whenever everything goes down, even when I’m sleeping, it still goes up.

Hey, what are you thinking? Of course, my fixed asset, remember? the land.

I realized I could not go on like this. My happiness was dependent on others. Until, I heard the voice of wisdom. I can be happy whenever I choose to and I am complete and need not be dependent on others to fill the lack inside, and even outside. Friends, our happiness is not dependent on others and nobody can complete us because we are never lacking. We must be able to recognize this. We can put our chest out and smile for no apparent reason and the feeling of happiness will shine through you, because happiness is our true nature. When I realized this, I told myself, “Yes, I am complete and I can make myself happy. What, with my mind, my heart and of course…, “I have two hands, the left and the right…” let’s party!

Good day.